Okay, two warnings. First off, this is an old story that I’m just now finding out about. And second, I’m dealing with a sexual issue and I don’t plan on being politically correct about it. Now that that’s out of the way…
Last night I came across this story so I bookmarked it and came back tonight. I’ve googled all over the place and the only proof I can find that this is real is that ABC actually did a story on it. I’ve checked the Illinois Supreme Court and Appellate Court Opinions website but found nothing (in all fairness their search engine was down, so I was searching by ‘hand’).
Dr. Richard O. Phillips accuses Dr. Sharon Irons of a “calculated, profound personal betrayal” which supposedly took place six years ago. According to Dr. Phillips he was lead, by Dr. Irons, to believe that she was divorced. Thus the two of them started a relationship that progressed quite well. Over the course of four months, Dr. Phillips claims he and Dr. Irons never had intercourse but did, in fact, have oral sex on three separate occasions. Dr. Phillips goes on to state that once he found out that Dr. Irons was still married he broke off their relationship.
About two years go by and Dr. Phillips finds himself in the middle of a paternity suit filed by Dr. Irons. Somewhere along the way, Dr. Irons had a kid and DNA testing shows Dr. Phillips to be the father. Don’t get ahead of me now. Stay with me. We’ve got two doctors, no sex, and a kid. Hmm… something ain’t adding up.
Dr. Phillips is then ordered to pay $800 per month in child support. He then files a suit against Dr. Irons claiming her actions caused him nausea and headaches and robbed him of sleep and his appetite. He is haunted by “feelings of being trapped in a nightmare,” court papers state. Which, hey, I can understand that. I’d probably have those feelings too if I was ordered to pay $800 a month to a kid I didn’t know I had. But wait, there’s more!
Dr. Phillips also sued for theft. Of what you might ask? Sperm. Dr. Phillips claims that Dr. Irons must have kept some of his sperm in her mouth after giving him a blow job and then used it later to artificially inseminate herself.
Are you still with me? Hello? Can ya hear me now?
The lower courts threw the whole thing out. The appellate court, however, rules that Dr. Phillips does have a case with the whole stress, nausea, whatever deal and sends the case back to the lower courts. But they also rule that Dr. Phillips could not sue Dr. Irons for theft because, and I quote, “She asserts that when plaintiff ‘delivered’ his sperm, it was a gift. There was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request.”
What can I say? Fellas, have any of you ever expressed an interest in having your “deposit” returned to you? Not I. So I guess the court has ol’ Doc Phillips on that one.
So, now that you see what tax dollars will do for you. They help in sperm theft cases. Of course all that was his version. Hers was, it’s all B.S. that he made up to get out of paying child support. Which, very well may be true. If it is all false, the guy has one heck of an imagination.
I can’t close out this post without giving some advice. Guys… keep it in your pants until after the “I do” and you won’t have to worry about this sort of crap. Ladies… make the guys keep in their pants until the “I do” or, at the very least, learn to swallow. Less court cases that way. 
